Finalist in June/July 2008 Humorpress.com humor writing contest.
This blog is a collection of blogs and twitters from the secret underground celebrity internet. Sure, you've never heard of it because you're NOT a celebrity. Rest assured that these are totally real, although I do have to mention that they are actually fake, and this thing is 100% fiction, and that this entire blog is for entertainment purposes only.
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Saturday, June 21, 2008

Bruce Springsteen and Martin Scorcese

Captured from an Instant Messaging session between Bruce Springsteen and Martin Scorcese:


BornIndaUSA: Hey, Martin; what's up in the Big City?

FinallyGotMyDamnOscar: Hard times for the working man, same as always. It ain't easy in the neighborhood, you know?

BornIndaUSA: Where are you, Little Italy?

FinallyGotMyDamnOscar: well, no. I'm at a Sushi place on the upper West side. But still, it's rough out there.



BornIndaUSA: It isn't getting' any easier, man.

FinallyGotMyDamnOscar: Not until January 20th anyway.

BornIndaUSA: yeah, man, yeah.

FinallyGotMyDamnOscar: oh, oh-oh-oh, Are you out on the streets?

BornIndaUSA:No, I'm at the back room at Trump's Casino.

FinallyGotMyDamnOscar: It's rough out there in Atlantic City.

BornIndaUSA: Yeah, that was a good song, man. You won an Oscar for that movie, right?

FinallyGotMyDamnOscar: that wasn't my movie. Anyway, what you up to for the weekend?

BornIndaUSA: I'm going to cruise down to Newark, and help out at a shelter. It's tough, man.

FinallyGotMyDamnOscar: Yeah. Kids growing up there must think their future's going to be something special. Then life hits them hard.

BornIndaUSA: Yeah. That was a great song. Reminds me of that movie Wild at Heart. You got an Oscar for that, right? I mean, at least for screenplay or something?

FinallyGotMyDamnOscar: That wasn't mine. Anyway, I'm speaking at a benefit for the Brooklyn YMCA tomorrow. I gotta help those kids. I was lucky to make it, and I want to help them get lucky too.

BornIndaUSA:I know they'll appreciate that man. How many kids are gonna be there?

FinallyGotMyDamnOscar: oh, the kids won't be there. It's a black tie at a club uptown. I'm just afraid it'll be filled with a bunch of rich white guys who really know nothing about the gritty, Mean Streets.

BornIndaUSA: yeah, that was a good song. And you...

FinallyGotMyDamnOscar: Nope! Not that one either. But at least it was mine. Anyway...

BornIndaUSA:Awww, that's the pizza guy. I hate the fancy food at these casinos, so I ordered delivery.

FinallyGotMyDamnOscar: good idea. They're Open All Night, too.

BornIndaUSA: Hey, thanks man. I really appreciate it. Pepperoni and everything. Yeah, thanks.

FinallyGotMyDamnOscar: are you typing to the pizza guy?

PizzaGuyNJ: so what? Is there something wrong with me, just cause I'm a pizza guy?

FinallyGotMyDamnOscar: No, of course not. Did you know pizza's not italian? But wise guys still like it...

BornIndaUSA:hey, are you in our chat room on your little cell phone thing? That's not cool man.

PizzaGuyNJ: What do you know about wise guys? My uncle Vinnie's connected, he says your movies are bull.

FinallyGotMyDamnOscar: What? My movies are real, you know? I'm just showing how it is out on the streets.

BornIndaUSA: yeah, that was a great song.

PizzaGuyNJ: oh, c'mon! What do you know about the streets? You're “The Boss” of lining in 7 bedroom mansions.

BornIndaUSA: That's not cool man. You know when I was your age, my pop used to yell at me all the time for my long hair.

FinallyGotMyDamnOscar: He can just type into a phone and it comes out on the computer? Wow, cool.

BornIndaUSA: that was a good song, man.

PizzaGuyNJ: I grew up in Wayne NJ! The only guys who were cool were the ones who lived in the biggest trailer!

FinallyGotMyDamnOscar: Yeah, I know what you're feeling

BornIndaUSA: I remember I wrote a song like that..

PizzaGuyNJ: shut up already! You guys make more money from one song or movie about “gritty life on the streets” than my family will make in their lifetime. You don't know what you're talking about!

FinallyGotMyDamnOscar: I'm right there with you, man.

BornIndaUSA: yeah, I wrote a song like that. Great stuff, man.

PizzaGuyNJ: Yeah, right. I've gotta go head back to the store, and hope I can dodge the bullet fire.

BornIndaUSA: Did I tell you I had a friend was a big baseball player? It was back in high school...

PizzaGuyNJ: go to hell!

FinallyGotMyDamnOscar: damn! You aren't getting a good tip like that! And I bet you could use a few dollars more

BornIndaUSA:Did you get the oscar for that one? That was a great movie...


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I remember reading this yesterday, and I thought it was very funny!

All articles are ©2008 by their respective authors; AJ, Jason Campbell, Gail Dull, Nathan V or R.M.Thompson