Finalist in June/July 2008 Humorpress.com humor writing contest.
This blog is a collection of blogs and twitters from the secret underground celebrity internet. Sure, you've never heard of it because you're NOT a celebrity. Rest assured that these are totally real, although I do have to mention that they are actually fake, and this thing is 100% fiction, and that this entire blog is for entertainment purposes only.
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Friday, June 27, 2008

Angelina Jolie on "Wanted"

captured from an email Exchange:

To: M.Bruce@cutthroat.agents.$$$
From: A.Jolie@Actresses.hot
Date: June 25 2008 2:30pm
Subject: Just saw a screening of "Wanted"

Hey, Marty; I just came from a screening of the final cut of "Wanted", and I'm pissed! Y'know when we were filming that thing, I really had no freakin' clue what was goin' on. We filmed scenes at random, if there was any plot , you couldn't really tell what it was. There was just a lot of people shooting other people, people get shot, and riding on every sort of motorized anything in between. So we wrapped before I really knew what it was about.
But, I mean, the title is "Wanted", right? And I'm the star? I assumed it was because everyone WANTED me! what the hell else could it mean?
what's with this super-secret assasins guild or something? Yeah, like people want to see that!




To: A.Jolie@Actresses.hot
From: M.Bruce@cutthroat.agents.$$$
Date: June 25 2008 6:30pm
Subject: Re: Just saw a screening of "Wanted"

Hey, Angie Babe; just caught Wanted, the studio sent me a copy. You're Gorgeous! It's great! It's gonna be the hit of the summer! Trust me - I'm your agent!
I don't know what those guys at Pixar were thinking opening that cartoon robot thing against you! Family comedy? No way.
What are you worried about? Of course everyone wants you! what other reasom is there to see the movie?


To: M.Bruce@cutthroat.agents.$$$
From: A.Jolie@Actresses.hot
Date: June 25 2008 6:35pm
Subject: Re: Just saw a screening of "Wanted"

Marty; yeah, of course people want to see me, but the movie isn't about ME! There's some other guy in it, and I think the story is even about HIM!
Wait - what do you mean, "what other reason is there to see the movie?" What about a good story? When you read the script, you said it was the best story since the Ten Commandments!


To: A.Jolie@Actresses.hot
From: M.Bruce@cutthroat.agents.$$$
Date: June 25 2008 7:00pm
Subject: Re: Just saw a screening of "Wanted"

of course the story's good! It's gold! just like you! box office gold! and Brad, too!
Don't worry, at least they didn't follow the comic book!
And tell brad to call me, by the way.


To: M.Bruce@cutthroat.agents.$$$
From: A.Jolie@Actresses.hot
Date: June 25 2008 7:05pm
Subject: Re: Just saw a screening of "Wanted"

What comic book? this thing was based on a comic book? First a video game, now this? Marty - what the hell did you get me into?


To: A.Jolie@Actresses.hot
From: M.Bruce@cutthroat.agents.$$$
Date: June 25 2008 9:23pm
Subject: Re: Just saw a screening of "Wanted"

Oh, the kid who brings my bagel mentioned something about it. He said in the comic, all the characters were "Super Villains", and they went around killing whoever they want, and swore a lot, too.
But the movie fixed all that, they went with the "good guy" assassins, for the good of the world, so it's cool.


To: M.Bruce@cutthroat.agents.$$$
From: A.Jolie@Actresses.hot
Date: June 25 2008 9:25pm
Subject: Re: Just saw a screening of "Wanted"

Hell, I would have preferred that. Swearing and vicious killing sounds pretty good right about now.
Speaking of which, do you have Timur Bekmambetov's home address? (In case you forgot, he was the director.) I might have to pay him a visit.
For the good of the world, of course.

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All articles are ©2008 by their respective authors; AJ, Jason Campbell, Gail Dull, Nathan V or R.M.Thompson