Finalist in June/July 2008 Humorpress.com humor writing contest.
This blog is a collection of blogs and twitters from the secret underground celebrity internet. Sure, you've never heard of it because you're NOT a celebrity. Rest assured that these are totally real, although I do have to mention that they are actually fake, and this thing is 100% fiction, and that this entire blog is for entertainment purposes only.
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Thursday, June 19, 2008

Burton and Beck

Captured from the “Artists Who Make Weirdness” chat room, May 19, 2008:

BurtonReimaginer: Hellllllo? Anyone else here?

BeckJustBeck: Hey, Tim. What's up?

BurtonReimaginer: Not much. Just scribbling dark weird little creatures on the back of a matchbook.

BeckJustBeck: Not smokin?

BurtonReimaginer: Well, yeah. Of course I'm smokin'.



BeckJustBeck: that's good. I'm writing tunes on an instrument I got at a yard sale in Calcutta. No idea what it is though.

BurtonReimaginer: yeah, cool. Did you ever get to see Sweeney Todd?

BeckJustBeck: At least I think it's an instrument. Well, the tunes are coming out ok anyway.

BurtonReimaginer: That's ironic.

BeckJustBeck: well, of course it's ironic. I wrote it.

BurtonReimaginer: no, I mean that you didn't even answer my question.

BeckJustBeck: that's not ironic. It's weird.

BurtonReimaginer: well, of course it's weird, I said it.

BeckJustBeck: I saw some of Sweeney Todd, but I was depressed, so I left.

BurtonReimaginer: well thanks for that. But what's wrong with it, wasn't it weird?

BeckJustBeck: yeah, it was weird. But I think I was tripping, 'cause all of a sudden the knives were like merging into Depp's hands.

BurtonReimaginer: That's Edward Scissorhands.

BeckJustBeck: Umm... what's the difference between that and Sweeney Todd?

BurtonReimaginer: Well - uhh... Are you sure you were in the right theater?

BeckJustBeck: I think it was a marathon for National Tim Burton day. I could have been confused.

BurtonReimaginer: There isn't a Burton day. I have no idea why though. Don't people like weirdness anymore? I'm just as weird as I ever was.

BeckJustBeck: You can say that again. But don't.

BurtonReimaginer: I mean Wonka did ok, but what happened with Planet of the Apes? What's up with that?

BeckJustBeck: maybe it wasn't weird enough.

BurtonReimaginer: oh c'mon, everyone knows apes are the weirdest of mammals.

BeckJustBeck: what about the platypus?

BurtonReimaginer: ANYWAY.... I have the weirdest visuals, and people act like it's just ho-hum. I don't get it. It's dark, it's odd, it's weird – it's good, right?

BeckJustBeck: I'm gonna right a song about Captain Platypus – king of the mammals.

BurtonReimaginer: I think they lay eggs though, don't they

BeckJustBeck: hey, look who's talking!

USER BurtonReimaginer has left.

BeckJustBeck: Hello?

BeckJustBeck: ...Tim?



1 comment:

BIG BUSINESS said...

Captain Platypus by Beck

Captain Platypus will get you high tonight

And take you to your special island

Captain Platypus will get you by tonight

Just a little push and you'll be smilin'

All articles are ©2008 by their respective authors; AJ, Jason Campbell, Gail Dull, Nathan V or R.M.Thompson