We here at the Secret Blogs of Celebrities have spared no expense to bring you the latest in celebrity happenings, now we are pleased to present the “Language Transmuticator”, a device that can allow us to “translate” any language into English so that we can find out what goes on behind the scenes.
We were able to intercept an international telephone conference call between representatives of the International Olympic Committee, China’s Gymnastics Federation, and United States Gymnastics…Below us a transcript with the comments from Chinese participants automatically translated by our marvelous invention, the “Language Transmuticator”:
Jacques Rogge, President of the International Olympics Committee: Good afternoon, let’s begin.
Lu Shanzan, Coach of the Chinese Gymnastics Team: Ok, I ready.
Steve Penny, USA Gymnastics: I’m ready and I also have Bela Karolyi with me.
Rogge: Mr. Penny, what are your concerns regarding the members of the Chinese Gymnastics Team?
Penny: It is our contention that it has come to light that three of the team members do not appear to be of age to compete and this week some additional corroborating evidence has come to light and we respectfully request an inquiry into the ages of He Kexin, Yang Yilin and Jiang Yuyuan.
Rogge: Lu Shazan have you a response to the accusations?
Shanzan: Girls old enough.
Rogge: Uh, we need more information that just your word that they are old enough.
Bela Karolyi: Theya notta old enuff, theya girls notta old enough!
Penny: Bela, I’ll take it from here…What my compatriot is saying is that in the last week the Associated Press has found information from the Chinese Administration of Sport’s own web site that Miss He Kexin’s actual birthday is January 1, 1994, not 1992 as contended, which would make her only 14 and as the rules state a competitor must turn 16 during the year of the Games, therefore; she would be ineligible. There is also evidence that Miss Yang Yilin was born in 1993, also making her too young to be eligible. Additionally, Miss Yuyuan may only be 15.
Rogge: Coach Shanzan, your response?
Shanzan: Girls old enough. Chinese government give passports that say so. Girls old enough.
Karolyi: These-a girls-a notta olda nuff…Theya have a NO BOOBIES! There is a no development! They have NO BOOBIES, their-a hips a too small! They-a HAVE NO BOOBIES!
Penny: Bela! Be quiet! You’re here just for support…
Shanzan: At this competition, the Japanese gymnasts were just as small as the Chinese. Chinese competitors have for years all been small. It is a question of race. European and American athletes are all powerful, very robust. Chinese are by nature that small.
Karolyi: You sayin’ our-a girls are fat?
Rogge: Gentlemen, we’re getting off track. Let’s refocus. Coach Shanzan, the Associated Press says that He Kexin was born in 1994. Your rebuttal?
Shanzan: He Kexin born in the year of dog.
Penny: Wait, the year of the dog? Wasn’t that 1994?
Shanzan: It not matter if born in 1994.
Penny: IT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE! She is only 14!
Shanzan: No, no, she born in year of dog. Dog have 7 year to one human. He Kexin is 98 year old in dog year. She PLENTY old to compete!
Rogge: What?
Shanzan: Yang Yilin born 1993, year of rooster. Rooster live 10 year to one human. Yilin 14 or 140 in rooster year. She also PLENTY old! You not know math!
Karolyi: They-a have-a NO BOOBIES! There is-a no development! They have NO BOOBIES, their-a hips are-a too small! They-a HAVE NO BOOBIES!
A fuse is blown and the connection is lost….
We were able to intercept an international telephone conference call between representatives of the International Olympic Committee, China’s Gymnastics Federation, and United States Gymnastics…Below us a transcript with the comments from Chinese participants automatically translated by our marvelous invention, the “Language Transmuticator”:
Jacques Rogge, President of the International Olympics Committee: Good afternoon, let’s begin.
Lu Shanzan, Coach of the Chinese Gymnastics Team: Ok, I ready.
Steve Penny, USA Gymnastics: I’m ready and I also have Bela Karolyi with me.
Rogge: Mr. Penny, what are your concerns regarding the members of the Chinese Gymnastics Team?
Penny: It is our contention that it has come to light that three of the team members do not appear to be of age to compete and this week some additional corroborating evidence has come to light and we respectfully request an inquiry into the ages of He Kexin, Yang Yilin and Jiang Yuyuan.
Rogge: Lu Shazan have you a response to the accusations?
Shanzan: Girls old enough.
Rogge: Uh, we need more information that just your word that they are old enough.
Bela Karolyi: Theya notta old enuff, theya girls notta old enough!
Penny: Bela, I’ll take it from here…What my compatriot is saying is that in the last week the Associated Press has found information from the Chinese Administration of Sport’s own web site that Miss He Kexin’s actual birthday is January 1, 1994, not 1992 as contended, which would make her only 14 and as the rules state a competitor must turn 16 during the year of the Games, therefore; she would be ineligible. There is also evidence that Miss Yang Yilin was born in 1993, also making her too young to be eligible. Additionally, Miss Yuyuan may only be 15.
Rogge: Coach Shanzan, your response?
Shanzan: Girls old enough. Chinese government give passports that say so. Girls old enough.
Karolyi: These-a girls-a notta olda nuff…Theya have a NO BOOBIES! There is a no development! They have NO BOOBIES, their-a hips a too small! They-a HAVE NO BOOBIES!
Penny: Bela! Be quiet! You’re here just for support…
Shanzan: At this competition, the Japanese gymnasts were just as small as the Chinese. Chinese competitors have for years all been small. It is a question of race. European and American athletes are all powerful, very robust. Chinese are by nature that small.
Karolyi: You sayin’ our-a girls are fat?
Rogge: Gentlemen, we’re getting off track. Let’s refocus. Coach Shanzan, the Associated Press says that He Kexin was born in 1994. Your rebuttal?
Shanzan: He Kexin born in the year of dog.
Penny: Wait, the year of the dog? Wasn’t that 1994?
Shanzan: It not matter if born in 1994.
Penny: IT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE! She is only 14!
Shanzan: No, no, she born in year of dog. Dog have 7 year to one human. He Kexin is 98 year old in dog year. She PLENTY old to compete!
Rogge: What?
Shanzan: Yang Yilin born 1993, year of rooster. Rooster live 10 year to one human. Yilin 14 or 140 in rooster year. She also PLENTY old! You not know math!
Karolyi: They-a have-a NO BOOBIES! There is-a no development! They have NO BOOBIES, their-a hips are-a too small! They-a HAVE NO BOOBIES!
A fuse is blown and the connection is lost….
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