Rumor about the Jonas Bothers

Leaked by the secretary of President and CEO of Hollywood Records, Bob Cavallo, an email exchange that finally sheds light to truth of the much-hushed-about gay "scandal" regarding the Jonas Bros.

Subject: new tour manager
Date: August 3rd, 2008

Kevin,
I apologize for the misleading subject of this email but I didn't want to bring further speculation and attention to you.
That said, this issue must be addressed. It has been brought to my attention that one of the three of you plans to, as you'd say, "come out", and I think it's fairly obvious to us all who it is.

Now, I don't want to cause any more issues than the ones that have already come up. Your brothers have worked too hard to get the three of you to where you are, and it goes without saying how much revenue has been brought in by the success of this little band you three have here, but while these two have been winning the hearts of teenage girls and, admittedly, boys everywhere, image needs to be maintained. I think you know what I'm getting at. You've done a swell job of keeping up appearances with this good-Christian-boy facade you and your brothers have been tasked with for quite some time and I'd be bold enough to tell you right now not to muck that up. And need I remind you, which certain famous-ears own you?
Just keep this in mind. Your borthers have brought you far, Kevin, don't screw this up.

Yours,
Bob Cavallo
President & CEO Hollywood Records

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Subject: Dude
Date: August 5th, 2008

What are you talking about?

Perplexed,
Kevin

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Subject: Guitar strings
Date: August 5th, 2008

Exactly. I knew you'd understand.

Yours always,
Bob Cavallo
President & CEO Hollywood Records

P.S. I love you.
Call me!

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Subject: Still Confused
Date: August 6th, 2008

Whatever dude.

Keep Rockin',
Kevin

P.S. Stop calling me. I recognize the heavy breathing. We will switch to Arista.