Finalist in June/July 2008 Humorpress.com humor writing contest.
This blog is a collection of blogs and twitters from the secret underground celebrity internet. Sure, you've never heard of it because you're NOT a celebrity. Rest assured that these are totally real, although I do have to mention that they are actually fake, and this thing is 100% fiction, and that this entire blog is for entertainment purposes only.
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Thursday, August 7, 2008

Kiefer Sutherland and the Anthrax Attacks

Excerpt taken from Kiefer Sutherland's personal blog: "Jack24"
Who leaked our plot?
August 3, 2008
So I read these articles about an arrest made of Dr. Bruce Ivins for the anthrax attacks in the US. In the article it said, "Officials wouldn't answer questions about why Ivins was allowed to continue working with dangerous biological agents after they identified him as a suspect in the so-called Amerithrax investigation."
What the Hell? Did some writer leak this? The season doesn't start until December, the plot's still supposed to be under wraps.

This reality TV thing is out of hand.
August 4, 2008
So I finally get the FBI to talk to me, and some wacko agent says "It's not the plot of a TV show, it's real"
Look - 24 is not some crappy "reality show" pal, it's quality drama. And then he asks me, "hey, when do they show the episodes with you just sleeping for an hour.?" Good one, real original. Like I haven't heard that before.

Seriously, can you believe this?
August 5, 2008
So now I call my agent about this whole anthrax plot leak, and he tells me it really happened. Come on - who's gonna believe that? We make great TV, but no one's gonna believe this wacked out "how's the world gonna almost-but-not-quite-end this time" could actually happen!

Getting to the bottom of it.
August 6, 2008
So I had to call up the head writer, and find out what's the deal with anthrax thing. I mean, I read about it days ago. The show's called "24", not "96". If you're gonna rip off a plot, could you at least maintain the format.
But the writer first tells me that it was just luck, that this Scientist guy really did attack the US. So I say, "I know writers work late hours, but you gotta slow down on the speed, son - you're hallucinating."
He doesn't say anything for a while, then says, yeah, well, we're not using that anthrax plot anyway. I'm working on a cool re-write now. He wouldn't tell me much, but he said it involved flagpoles, and some skydiving for me.

Now that's what I'm talking about! That'll REAM the competition!

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All articles are ©2008 by their respective authors; AJ, Jason Campbell, Gail Dull, Nathan V or R.M.Thompson