Speed Racer Traffic Report

an excerpt from a morning TV news report
News Anchor Chip Rollins: ...Ha, Ha, that's great, Michelle, sounds like a fabulous weekend. Now for a look at the traffic, let's turn to our new traffic reporter, Greg "Speed" Racer. Greg?
Speed Racer: Ah, thanks Mr. Rollins. Well, out on Shoreline Drive, there's sure a lot of cars out there. And man - they look like ants from up here! I'm used to being right down there on the hot top, not up here in the chopper, you know? But since my movie didn't do so good, I had to take this freaking job.
Chip Rollins: haha! Right! Now Speed, could you let us know how the traffic is moving?
Speed Racer: Moving? Out on the nterstate, they're barely moving at all! I mean c'mon, the gas is on the right, Gramma! Crank it up!

Chip Rollins: Umm, ok. But Speed, the pictures that they're showing us now aren't exactly bumper to bumper traffic, you know? It looks like the cars are moving pretty well for rush hour, maybe 50 mph?
Speed Racer: 50? Are you kidding? When I beat the masked racer, I averaged over 200 mph! And I had to jump a canyon with my super-stilts! That's button "A" for you kids at home.
Chip Rollins: Right, so anyway...
Speed Racer: and what the hell do you mean, "bumper to bumper"? There's gotta be 4 or 5 feet between some of those cars! When I won the Amazon Super Race, I was so close to the Phantom Racer he was cutting through my car with his buzzsaw arms! That's bumper to bumper!
Chip Rollins: Ha, ha, right! But I don't think our friends will be seeing any buzzsaws out on the Expressway today, thanks Speed...
Speed Racer: well, if they do, they can just send out their micro homing robots to....

Speed's feed is mysteriously cut off.